Friday, February 03, 2006
28.---Journal entry for January 11, 2003
Tinsel kept trying to write a book about something she hated. It was hard to write a book if you were a writer. This was her first book and she hated the subject but the story had to be told.
She had one regret--that she had called her sister and involved her. But she eventually would have contacted her family if only to say goodbye since it looked like they were going to kill her.
No, she never had a chance of not hurting them. That's why they did this--to make sure she looked bad--and that was bound to hurt the people who loved her.
She needed to write down dialogue since that was the most interesting form for her. So she tried to recall which conversations were important.
"Can't find a better man..." by Pearl Jam.
A good song about a horrible experience. It can be done.
The typewriter seemed to be more inviting as a musical instrument than as a serious tool for writing.
This, unfortunately, was no musical. No more like a horror movie.
Aging was hard for most people but life was kind and it happened slowly and so you had time to get used to it.
They were deforming her face in a very short amount of time.
She had gone from looking extremely good for her age to looking extremely bad for her age in about a years' time. Very sad it would be if it were just from stress, but to know that someone was purposely cutting off her blood circulation to age her was disgusting.
This is what the jerk-offs from Millbourne were doing to her and selling this equipment to others.
Nice story huh?
Ode to the assholes.
I feel pretty when I'm being molested by tape recordings of repeated loops of abuse.
So, to control the female population and keep them in line, they single out the strong, independant ones and attack them to teach the other women that they will be hurt if they don't act slavish in relation to men. The lesbian is the one who defies the patriarchal system since she doesn't buy into the idea that she must have a man to be a worthwhile human being.
Sick of you. I am truly sick of you. I've spent the last 3 years putting up with abuse off of assholes and I've had it. From now on I'm operating like there's no such thing as the police. I kept thinking this whole time that I would be protected if they only knew. I kept thinking they could save me if I could find a way to tell them.
Now I see that I've let people do any number of things to me because I've been playing by the rules.