Tuesday, January 24, 2006
17.---Journal entry for August 17, 2002
She was at work about a half hour when Ron, her boss, told her the news.
"Donna was in an accident on her motorcycle."
"I just got a call form her cousin and she doesn't understand why we haven't heard about it yet."
"When did it happen? Is she alright?"
"I don't know. Her cousin found out from someone and wanted me to tell her what happened and how she was."
"Oh my God..."
"I'm afraid to find out anything else---I don't even want to answer the phone."
She just stared at him. They both feared the worse.
"Should I email her? Where's that address she gave me..."
"No, she's in the hospital--no one's gonna answer that."
"Do we have her phone number...Oh wait, here it is..."
She dialed the number, holding her breath the whole time.
"Oh God I hope she's alright."
The answering machine message was short and was her husband Brad's cheerful voice-- obviously recorded sometime before this accident--telling her that they were all out now.
"We just heard some bad news and are hoping we heard wrong--It's Tinsel and Ron from Smith's Store. We hope your okay."
She spoke carefully, not wanting to make it worse for him if it was true, trying to be delicate--feeling so bad to be making this call.
"I'm not answering the phone any more", he said as he turned to walk out.
Two hours later, Donna's friend Martin told Ron that she was out of danger. Thank God, Tinsel thought.
"It doesn't seem right--How could someone be in surgery 2 days and be out of danger?" Ron wondered out loud.
Tinsel felt her feeling of relief fade away and the anxiety reappear. Then she put it out of her mind but it didn't leave, she just tried to pretend she couldn't see it.
The next day at work she learned that it was a really bad accident and Donna might not live.
She couldn't believe it--Why?
Why her? There's no answer to these questions but she couldn't help wondering.
They worked pretty quietly all day. Ron didn't want to answer the phone and Tinsel kept forgetting about Donna and worked like normal. She answered the phone as she would any other day.
When she was reminded she was amazed at her mind's power to forget this bad news.
Before she left work though, something popped into her mind that just blew her away. A dream she'd had just 2 or 3 nights ago. A dream about Donna and she'd never had a dream about her ever before.
In the dream Donna was smiling while she was..."Oh shit!" she just felt the spookiest feeling of creepiness come over her in an instant and couldn't believe it. Why had it just come to her now?
In the dream Donna was doing surgery on Tinsels' chin and smiling. The weird part is Tinsel not only wrote the dream down but spent more time than usual trying to understand it--especially the smile. Her smile was happy and light and strange in that particular moment since she was cutting someone's skin. Her smile almost made the action seem light and harmless.
Now, once again, she wondered what the dream meant. She hoped it meant that Donna would be okay--no pain. She wasn't sure, though, that it meant she'd survive. She hated that she had a dream like this.